Controlling your Anger before it Controls you
Anger may be defined as an emotional state that varies from mild annoyance to intense rage. It is completely normal, but when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems at home and work, and affect the quality of one’s life. Anger can also lead to feelings hopelessness, frustration or resentment if it isn’t released or expressed appropriately.
A certain amount of anger is important for our survival, but we cannot lash out every time we get irritated. There are a number of ways in which we can deal with angry feelings; expression, suppression or calming. Expressing anger in an assertive and respectful manner is the best approach. This is more likely to give you the results you desire. When you experience anger towards another person, try to tell them what is bothering you about their behaviour and why.
Being assertive also means that one is able to deal with issues as they come up. By preventing a situation from simmering and boiling, it becomes easier to gain control of feelings immediately.
Suppressed anger can be held in and redirected in a positive way, but the danger of this is that it can turn inward and lead to bitterness or depression. Individuals who are critical and constantly put others down haven’t learned to express their anger constructively. Calming yourself inside is another way of dealing with the triggers that cause the anger, thereby helping the feelings to subside. You can't get rid of or avoid, the things or the people that infuriate you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to manage your reactions.
When you're angry, your thought patterns can become extremely illogical. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything and that it won't make you feel better, but may actually leave you feeling worse. It may also be beneficial to slow down and think about what you want to say before lashing out in anger. At the same time, listen to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
Sometimes it may benefit you to speak to a close friend, relative, or someone that you can trust so that you can get intense feelings off your chest in a healthy manner.
Deep breathing exercises can also help to ease volatile emotions and slow down the pulse rate. Learn to laugh at life! Try and see the funny side of a troublesome situation when you feel your temper rising.
